Thursday, July 9, 2009
Oh You wanna Fist Bump? That was sooo Presidental Election 08'
Until recently I thought the basic fist bump was wicked cool... that was until I met three studs that changed my nightlife forever. It's called the "task list" and I am not even sure I should be writing about this but after all this is Merica and I believe freedom of blogging still applies.
Let me break it down for you:
There is a piece of paper and a writing utensil. You get together a group of people. Now this is where it gets tricky. You've got friends (or maybe you don't which in this case sucks for you) but if you truly want to do the task list you must ween out your "mediocre, yeah s/he's cool buuuut ______ (insert lacking quality)" NOPE sorry. This isn't a joke.
So you and your totally insanely awesome friends come up with a list of tasks hence the "task list" Are you following me? Good. Great. FANTASTIC!
What goes on this list? What do I do with this list after my friends and I have composed it?
The list is suppose to be a compilation of ridiculous things you must act on at the bar involving complete strangers.
1) Convince someone that you went to Elementary School and or Middle School with them
2) Go up to a person of a particular obvious race and ask them if they are a complete other race.
Ok I already know what you are thinking but you're wrong. This isn't going to get you in to a fight. You just gotta act like a complete idiot. I asked a guy clearly from India if he was Icelandic... turns out he isn't.
3) Ask someone the difference between genital herpes and poison oak.
Alright this one I did and my response was priceless. He told me "YEAH ONE GOES AWAY AND ONE DOESN'T" I have to give that guy props. What a brilliant response.
Now that you get the idea, what does this have to do with fist bumps? It has everything to do with fist bumps. In fact the variation fake out fist bump is classic task list material. There is the "stick shift" where you go for a fist bump but instead grab the person's fist and pretend it's a stick shift. There is also the "jellyfish" where you also go up to a stranger pretend to do a fist bump and instead turn your fist into a jellyfish and and float away in a jellyfish motion. The list goes on.. but you get the picture. Basic fist bump is OUT!
At this point in the blog you must be thinking, "Wow this all sounds very mature" and you're right it isn't at all. All I can tell you is that next time you are out in a bar and you are bored of the same scene why not spice it up. No it isn't like Punk'd. There are no hidden cameras and no Ashton's running out but there will be many moments where you walk away from strangers leaving them with confusion of "Whoa did I go to Valley Lake Jr. High with that girl?" or "Gross that girl just asked if I knew a good local gynecologist because she is having some problems down there.. wait whaat?" and of course the bewildered look of a stranger after they thought they were going in for a basic fist pump and you pulled the "dolphin".